With all the training I've been doing recently and in conversations with my partner, there's been something on my mind. I'm sure plenty of other dog trainers think about it and relate and maybe some clients think about it too.
It's not up to me to train your dog.
Among the many funny, articulate and poignant things my mentor would say, two of her expressions come to mind:
1) "I can't care about your dog more than you." And
2) "The only timeline is the dogs timeline."
I get it! I tell clients all the time- It's not my life, it's not my dog, I'm not the one who has to live with them everyday for the next 5, 10 or even 16 years... They do. Whatever the dogs needs are and whatever the client's goals are, I will give them EVERYTHING I can to help get them there. Because it's not my life, my dog and, I don't live with them everyday for years, it's not up to me how successful the dog is in training. In a certain sense, I don't put the responsibility entirely on the owner either (it is still 90-95% up to the owners.)
What I mean by that is, you may have an excellent dog- smart, curious, outgoing and biddable. But if you suck at communicating what you need and want from the dog, that's on you. Conversely, maybe your dog isn't too smart, they're very fearful or some other issue. You could be excellent and totally proficient in communicating but for whatever reason, they still aren't getting it, that's tough and that's why the only timeline is the dogs timeline. We can influence the timeline with our handling and communication skills and how consistent or inconsistent we are. The better our skills are and more consistent we are, the more likely we can bring the best out of our dogs. That's why I emphasize developing owners skills and knowledge in my training.
There are some significant factors that have a major impact on training as well. Three major influences on training are the dog's genetics, the trainer's experience and skill and, the dog's relationship history with the owner(s). The success the dog and I can achieve through training can be boiled down to these three things plus a ridiculous amount of patience and being painfully consistent. After that, it's up to owners to maintain that success and it's hard because even if I could download everything I know and how to do it, into a client's brain, they still have a history to "overcome" essentially and have to be just as patient and consistent as I have been.
At the end of the day, clients aren't dog trainers and I don't try to make them because it's not a fair or reasonable expectation. That said, there does have to be a commitment and investment from them if they want to see positive, lasting changes. "I can't care about your dog more than you." is so true and in some cases, it's paradoxical because, unfortunately, it's evident from the owner's that I care more than they do.
I can't make you be consistent and I can't be consistent for you.
What hope does a dog have if the trainer does all the work to overcome the bad, work through the issues and resolve them as best they can only to have the dog go back to an owner that won't change anything about what brought them to training in the first place?
See this post about personal training to better understand.
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